Who is to blame for our son’s death?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2007/07/30/hasper130.xml&page=1
This story is so sad and so avoidable. My son is not so different from Tim Whattler. He is doing OK at the moment. But this was not always the case. We are not so different from Tim’s parents. We fought similar battles on our son’s behalf. Often we lost. We couldn’t understand it either.
We are lucky. Our son has survived. But it should not be about luck. Tim’s death is a waste; such a loss. It is not a tragedy. It is a crime, though I doubt there will ever be a guilty verdict.
Comment by ideas2words | July 30th, 2007
I am on the other side of the experience. I would like to invite you to read my blog and perhaps post some of your thoughts from the victim’s perspective. (In my blog, I refer to suicidal people as patients and their family and loved ones as the victims. I think this is more accurate given who commits the act and who suffers from it.)
My blog is at:
ideas2words.wordpress.com
I wish you good luck with your son. Don’t give up on him; that, more than anything else, will help him not give up on himself.
-Ashley
Comment by David N. Andrews M.Ed. (Distinction) | July 30th, 2007
This is what happens with a medical view of autism, and a propensity within the system to change (/fix) the person.
Same crap went on in my life and it sucked.
I’m appalled to see that the UK hasn’t improved very much over the last 30 years since the system shat on me.
Comment by Joseph | July 30th, 2007
Check the subheading:
“The parents of Tim Whattler, who committed suicide aged 17, believe he was fatally let down by the system of care for autism sufferers. Cassandra Jardine reports”
I’m not going to say the media is to blame. But headlines like this don’t help. Obviously, if you’re suffering, you are more likely to be depressed. There is no evidence that autistics in general suffer of anything except the cultural environment.
I’m a parent who understands that my son will be autistic when he’s a teen. This sort of stuff is extremely important and I hope it would change a little with time. Regarless, it’s also very important to teach our kids to accept themselves and not assign worth to themselves based on their skills or way of being.
Comment by David N. Andrews M.Ed. (Distinction) | July 30th, 2007
Indeed, Joseph. That sub-heading is pretty misleading as far as I am concerned. I’m autistic and it’s not the autism that I suffer from now (or at any time in my life): it’s people making serious attibution errors on the basis of (in the vast majority of instances) total ignorance (in the sense of not wanting to know my take on something).
Comment by Mike Stanton | July 30th, 2007
ideas2words
I have read your blog, and while I sympathize with people who have constant suicidal urges, this is not the case with autistic young people.
In a recent SciAm special report on child development I read that suicide is the third largest cause of death in US teenagers. Autistic teens are under even more pressure than neurotypical teens. That was the basis for my comparing Tim to my son. They both faced similar pressures and were similarly misunderstood by professionals whose job it was to understand them. Thankfully my son did not become suicidal and now the external pressures have been removed he is doing very well.
David is right. Professionals who medicalize what is essentially a situational problem cause harm by ignoring external reasons for autistic problems.
Joseph
well spotted. Most of my son’s problems were not caused by autism. They arose because other people misunderstood his autism (teachers) or seemed to understand it all too well and exploit that knowledge (school bullies).
Comment by David N. Andrews M.Ed. (Distinction) | July 31st, 2007
“David is right. Professionals who medicalize what is essentially a situational problem cause harm by ignoring external reasons for autistic problems.”
Thanks, Mike.
The sad thing is that this medicalisation makes it easier for society to enforce its ideas of ‘normality’ on the individual: psychiatry isn’t so much about the remediation of mental health difficulties as the systematic denial of the right to be different (to at least a significant extent). It allows the state to incarcerate the radically different (threat-posing or not), and relieves members of society at large of their human duty to behave humanely towards all people (meaning that it sanctions the inhumane treatment of certain groups it determines to be ‘disturbed’).
And there’s nothing really scientific in the making of that determination.
Comment by daedalus2u | July 31st, 2007
This is the type of evil that triumphs when good people do nothing.
Comment by David N. Andrews M.Ed. (Distinction) | July 31st, 2007
daedalus… absolutely spot on.
Comment by Digby Tantamount | July 31st, 2007
It’s obvious this kid wasn’t celebrating the joy of autism. That means Neurodiversity killed him with their writings against curing it.
Comment by David N. Andrews M.Ed. (Distinction) | August 1st, 2007
Some Imbecile Junior was here… LoL he can’t hide how obviously he is an idiot !
Comment by Joseph | August 1st, 2007
Yep, John couldn’t be more obvious if he tried.
Comment by Sara | August 1st, 2007
Hi-
My name is Sara and I work for Random House- sorry to leave you a note on your comments but you don’t have an email address that I could find. We have a book coming out called Look Me in the Eye (My life with Aspergers) by John Elder Robinson who is the brother of Austen Burroughs-the author of Running with Scissors and we would like to send you a copy. If you are interested please email me at SSmyth@RandomHouse.com.
Thanks,
Sara
Comment by Andrew & Rayna Houvouras | August 3rd, 2007
It would have to be awful to have depressive and suicidal thoughts and then to have the propensity to perseverate on these thoughts would have to be maddening.
God rest his soul and our thoughts and prayer to his family.
Comment by rocobley | August 6th, 2007
Mike, can you send me an email as I want to send you an email copy of a leaflet? I am putting together a public meeting in London for the 12 September called ‘The Politics of Autism’ and was wondering if you could help me promote it on your blog? I have put my email in the ‘Mail’ box above this comment so you should have it. Thanks.
Comment by Pat Orange | December 2nd, 2007
I’m in the US, desperately trying to find a way to help/assist my best friend who has Autistic Twins (girl severe, boy closer to Asperbers). Boy has threatened to kill himself and asked all knives be removed from house. She checked him in to a psychiatric facility.
They deal with depression of NORMAL people. How can they help him? She said if her daughter needed it, they wouldn’t take her because of her communication problems.
Any other parents/friends/advocates who can advise me before my friend chooses the suicide route?
Comment by Lorna | January 30th, 2008
Pat Orange, have you tried the Autism Research Institute?
The postal address is 4182 Adams Ave; San Diego,CA 92116; USA
The fax number is 619 563 6840
I have read the very useful information on the APANA web site and wonder if I can become a member? My son has deteriorated since being prescribed neuroleptic drugs at age 11. It was a relief to find an organisation dealing with the issue of use of neuroleptic drugs in autism. Before seeing the web site I felt completely alone in my views.